Whining kids all have one thing in common—parents who give into their behavior! If you are tired of this draining performance, here are 4 tips to help you put your children in the “No Whining Zone” for good:
Tip #1: Whining When Basic Needs Are Not Met
If your child is hungry, overtired, not feeling well, or simply missing you and needing some one on one time, don’t attempt a trip to run errands where she’ll be dragged out and about. This is an invitation for whining.
Tip #2: Whining for Attention
Kids need to feel safe and loved, so be sure to give them plenty of positive attention in their everyday life. For example, if you see your child quietly playing with his new Lego set, let him know how cool you think his creation is. When your child is used to positive, emotional support on a regular basis without his outwardly asking for it (whining, misbehaving, ignoring your instructions), he’ll feel more secure and won’t need to whine when he wants your attention.
Tip #3: Whining to Get Their Way
Children whine when they feel powerless. If they’ve been cooped up at home all day because you have paperwork to catch up on and they desperately want to go to the playground or visit a friend, acknowledge that you hear what your child is saying to you.
In a happy voice say, “You would love to get out of the house and run around at the playground but you’ve been stuck at home while Mommy catches up on her work and you’re really getting bored now, right?” This should give your child the impetus to tell you what she wants without resorting to whining.
If that fails, again, in a kind voice, say something like “What happened to your strong, big girl voice?” Then, if she keeps whining, you can say playfully "You don't sound like yourself. I wonder where your usual strong voice went?" Let her know how much you love her strong voice and ask her to repeat her needs in her regular voice. Don’t bring attention to the whining, bring attention to the voice you would like to hear when she wants something.
Tip #4: Whining When They Know You’ll Give In
Whining is a learned behavior that unfortunately is perpetuated by parents who give into it. Don’t reward whining. Your 5-year-old may be testing your every last nerve moaning for that package of sugary bubble gum while in the checkout line. But each time you cave and let him have what he wants, he knows that there will always be a “next time” if he repeats his annoying behavior.
In this case, kindness always triumphs a harsh response. Use empathy when telling your child he can’t have the gum. “I know you’d love to have that gum, but not today.” Offer an alternative like a piece of fruit or some crackers so your child can make a different choice and not feel so defeated. When you remain calm and loving each time the whining begins, eventually your child will realize he’s not getting the response that he’s looking for, and before you know it your home will be a “No Whining Zone.”
source: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/parenting/school-age/no-whining-zone?
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